28 May 2009

Can You Tell I'm Brain Dead?

Yup. It's true. So here's the moon report...

Moon is in Leo. Though this is the driest and most barren moon sign, it's an excellent time for increasing hair thickness...whatever that means. Does that mean it's okay to cut? I don't know. I'm dazed and confused.

According to The Pagan's Path, it's a good time to weed, inspect your plants for pests and prune.

I don't know what else the moon in Leo means to us on a day to day basis.

In trying to find you some interesting stuff on the Leo moon, I found Cafe Astrology which is pretty fun. You can get your Natal Chart done for free. I paid someone $25 bucks about 15 years ago to do mine. $25 was a lot of money for me back then.

I must go make lunch for my son and his friend.

26 May 2009

Moon in Cancer

The moon is in Cancer today and tomorrow. Cancer is the most productive and fruitful sign. It's moist and feminine. If you want long thick locks, today and tomorrow are good times to cut, especially with the moon waxing.

It is also a great time to plant in the garden.

So get busy.

Summer Begins

Memorial Day weekend is behind me.
Summer vacation is now.
Wondering if I'll have
the energy
to continue my follies
as I try to entertain
an only child.

Suddenly 11 weeks

No dreams to report.
Garden looks good.
Pickin' peas
Pickin' peas
Pickin' peas
Some of the beets
are ready
Still need to plant a few herbs
(the legal variety)
and waiting for a few
pepper seedlings
to get a little bigger
before I introduce them
to the slugs
that ate my

Have an unfinished painting
(or two)
staring me down
like it's alive
and screaming, "Give me LIFE!"

I'm content in simply

22 May 2009

Laugh of the Day

I dedicate these comments to all my friends who are looking for a good laugh today...

Amazon Wolf T-shirt

Happy Friday.

Oh, and it's the last day of Kindergarten. I'm taking in some electric blues on Pandora and enjoying my last 45 minutes of solitude.

Making the last walk down the Kindergarten hall to take Blue to his class was almost as hard as the first walk. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't cry.


21 May 2009

"To dream that you are on a train, symbolizes your life's journey. It suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed in the right direction. Alternatively, you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will prove to work out in the end." Dream Dictionary

Yes, I dreamed last night that I was riding on a train. A big group of us were, yet again, trying to escape something.

I haven't seen the "something", and like in the pirate dream, I sense the "something" is people or idea related. That doesn't surprise me given my views, opinions and writing. They definitely are not in the box.

"To dream that you escape from injury, from an animal, or from any situation, signifies your good health and prosperity. You will experience a favorable turn of events." Dream Dictionary

Sounds good to me...I'm headed in the right direction and if I escape this "something" I'll experience a favorable turn of events.

In the past year and a half, I have experienced a lot of change. I feel good about it all. I know that I am shedding my old skins and rebirthing myself. Once it starts, there is no turning back. I am accepting the challenges given to myself from myself. My soul's path is uncharted territory.

19 May 2009

What the HELL?!?

What the hell? How come sometimes when I try to log onto my blog, I get a Page Load Error stating this:

"Address Not Found

Firefox can't find the server at intuitiveopinion.blogspot.com.
The browser could not find the host server for the provided address.

* Did you make a mistake when typing the domain? (e.g. "ww.mozilla.org" instead of "www.mozilla.org")
* Are you certain this domain address exists? Its registration may have expired.
* Are you unable to browse other sites? Check your network connection and DNS server settings.
* Is your computer or network protected by a firewall or proxy? Incorrect settings can interfere with Web browsing."

When this happens, I can't get to my dashboard, and after I make this post, I won't be able to see it. When I try to "View Blog" get the message above. I have to completely shut down and restart my computer so I can get on my blog. This doesn't always work either.

I have searched "HELP"...what a joke that is! I can't even contact a real person.

If anyone can help me, please let me know.


18 May 2009

I Got Hate Mail

Sometimes I have trouble loading my blogger account. When I try to go to my site, I get a message that tells me that my blog doesn't exist. The first time it happened, I flipped and almost shit my pants. My work!

I quickly called my friend, bb mumblings to see if she could get on to my blog. She quickly reassured me that it was still there, and I was having a computer glitch.

I create and post on Blogger first, but I also created a mirror blog at Wordpress. I did it at first to get more exposure, but now I do it to simply back up my Blogger blog. I don't trust Blogger, nor any database for that matter. (Yes, Yes. I back up my blog posts three more times: 1) on my computer 2) on a removable USB 3) on a Ning.com site that I created for Gypsy Hands.)

I was a writing machine today. I wrote three blog posts (this makes four) and, as is the new chore, I diligently posted them on Wordpress to back 'em up.

Imagine my surprise when I opened my e-mail this evening and found that someone had left a comment, and it was a snotty hate mail on the Wordpress blog! My first reaction was, "Alright! I'm being read!"

Here's the link so you can check it out yourself. We Don't Talk To Terrorists!

I'm being read!

The Fool

My dear friend, BB Mumblings, is going through a metamorphosis. While she explained her angst on the phone yesterday, what she was telling me seemed very familiar. Then I remembered that I had touched on the subject briefly in the blog post, Epiphanes and the Divine Law of Life, which she quotes in her recent blog post, Driven Brutal Bitch Revolution.

I read my words from the blog post to her: "When a woman takes on the attributes of a man and tries to mimic the actions of men instead of acting of her true womanly essence and nature, she is not creating equality for herself and other women. She is as lost and as distant from her connection to Mother Nature as any man and appears a fool. She is living by the constraints of man-made law."

When I got to "appears a fool", I apologized and stated, "Oh, maybe that was harsh. I'm sorry. You're not a fool."

Instead of being offended, she agreed with me referencing The Fool from a Tarot deck. I know that the Tarot is a means of divination. I play it online, but I am completely ignorant of the meanings of the individual Tarot cards. My curiosity of the individual meanings prompted me to explore.

From the many Google results, I found a simple, yet encompassing definition. The Fool when upright means new beginnings, new adventures, new opportunities, unlimited possibilities, pleasure, passion, thoughtlessness, rashness. When the card is reversed it means a bad decision, indecision, apathy, hesitation, a faulty choice.

When I made my statement, I was referring directly to women who take on the attributes of men to "make it" in a "man's world" instead of staying true to their natural divine feminine aspects in that same world. The "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" way of life. I have the utmost respect and gratitude for our predecessors who charged into the world of men head first with the woman's movement. Like the Marines who go into the battle first, the feminist movement did what it had to do to make change. Did they did accomplish the task with the right strategy.? I'm not to judge. When dealing with wolves, one doesn't show up in a sheep's clothing.

As we exited that first wave, I believe that the first line of feminists set a precedent. We didn't have many role models, and those that made it through the battle lines relatively unscathed became our role models. So the next generation of the 1980's and 1990's followed suit of the first.

In this context, The Fool is appropriate. When a woman, or anyone for that matter, takes on a role that is out of the ordinary it means new beginnings, adventures, or opportunities.

If one follows their heart, or soul's path, it can lead to unlimited possibilities, pleasure or passion. But indecision, apathy, hesitation, depression and lack of self worth follows anyone who doesn't find true meaning or assumes a disguise to succeed in the world. The result is summed up as a faulty choice or bad decision.

It's not a man's world. It's everyone's world, but it continues to be dominated by men. Women need not act like men to create change as we push forward. That first generation of warriors needed to do what was necessary to tear down the wall and break the stereotypes that existed. Now, awareness continues to climb. We shouldn't have to hide the fact that we are women by becoming out of touch with our natural selves. There is still more education to be had, especially here in the Deep South, but we are smarter, wiser and quicker than the system and its man-made laws.

This isn't an "us against them" fight. What we need is a balance between the energies. Men, as well as women, need to open up to and honor the feminine divine within. And when that happens, true change will ensue.

We raise awareness in our own ways. I admire women that remain on the battlefield slugging it out and taking the hits, I only hope they don't lose their souls in the process and appear the reverse fool.

Radical For JESUS!

"The host really whipped up his audience, saying that the battle was on and they were ready, etc. People called in, all freaked out and said they were, “radical for Jesus” and ready for the fight." Henry Rollins

I'm a radical for Jesus. Truly I am. I have had some unexplained supernatural events occur in my childhood, some I may or may not have written about. I have blogged extensively on my spiritual beliefs.

Much of my research has focused on the Divine Feminine, and the need for humans to recognize and pay homage to the Divine Feminine within themselves in order to heal this planet. So it may surprise you to read that I am radical for Jesus.

Not only am I radical for Jesus, I'm also radical for the truth. I am radical to know the true Jesus and his teachings, not the grossly manipulated text and misrepresented Jesus that many christians follow today.

As I allowed myself to ponder deeper the ancient questions of philosophers, "How did we get here? What is the truth about God, the Creator, the Divine?" My own Catholic upbringing couldn't be forgotten nor abandoned.

I researched spirituality from 10,000 years ago looking for the root of the feminine faith. I found that it stemmed from agriculture. When groups of people stopped meandering and began the practice of agriculture, folks honored the Earth. They were at the mercy of their environment, seasons and weather. As Maslow defines in his hierarchy of needs, everyday was spent at the lowest rung. Their worship reflected this "root" Chakra way of life. They acted upon the Earth as they saw and experienced. It was an egalitarian society, but very feminine probably because woman gave birth, and therefore gave life. In turn, these people showed gratitude to the Earth, bestowed faith and worshiped in the realm of the feminine. It was balanced. It was the garden of Eden.

What does this have to do with Jesus? No matter how hard I try, I can't shake nor deny a lifetime of Catholicism. It's always creeping in. Some may say it's Catholic guilt. Others may say it's intuition. I don't believe everything that I was taught. I KNOW there is more to the story, hence why have expanded my search to include the roots of civilization.

There is no denying that Jesus is the most discussed, fought about, revered and controversial humans that ever walked this planet. (Don't fight with me. Even if you believe in the Virgin birth, Mary was human, making Jesus half human.) I won't deny Him. I have a deep deep love for the man.

In wanting to know more about Him and his true teachings, my search led me to the Essene Nazerenes and the Gnostic Gospels. Of course, I am familiar with the finding and translating of the Nag Hammadi, but I had not taken the time to review it, that is up to now. I believe that the time is right.

My mind and heart combined create a complicated vessel. My love mixed with my insatiable curiosity led to the next thought, "After Jesus' death, resurrection and ascension, what became of the Marys?" Not only am I a radical for Jesus, but I am also an extremist for the two most important women in Jesus' life; his mother Mary and his wife, Mary Magdalene.

There is a mix of belief out there, but the simplest answer tying all the loose ends together came in the form of Sylvia Brown's highly controversial book, The Two Marys: The Hidden History of the Mother and Wife of Jesus.

Now, many of you may think that my belief in a psychic discredits me because there is no concrete proof to her view and belief. Before you begin to disbelieve, I offer that you examine your own beliefs and well as at history itself.

God is a supernatural phenomenon. Why does God exist? Because we are told that God exists and because we carry faith. There is NO scientific evidence for God. Those who believe in God, already believe in the supernatural, whether they want to accept it or not.

Prophesying isn't a new gig. The Bible is littered with prophets. Many people think the book of revelation is the big doomsday prophesy. Hell, the entire Mormon church is built on the words of a prophet. So why would it be so out of the ordinary to contemplate the words of a psychic? These intuitives are merely modern day prophets.

According to Brown, Jesus traveled for 15 years before he returned to begin his teachings. Jesus' travels took him though the middle east as far as India. He would have traveled through the part of the world where agricultural society began, Mesopotamia. He studied with many teachers. I believe that Jesus himself searched for the truth and the roots of the higher teachings of the religion of that time. His teachings are a combination of the Judaic faith and the accumulation of the wisdom He encountered on his travels. I believe it even shows in his language that when he speaks of the "Son of Man" that it is a direct Sanskrit influence of the words "manas" and "atman"

I believe that Jesus is telling us that we all are sons (and daughters) of manas and atman. Humans are an accumulation of the coordinating organ of creative intelligence/the mind and divine consciousness/originating source/ the soul.

My take is that he mind is a masculine feature and the soul is a feminine feature. When we live completely in our minds, we are denying our hearts. And the reversal is true. When we are living completely in our hearts, we are denying our minds. The truth is balanced in the middle. Balancing the masculine and the feminine is hard to do. Maybe this is how gender roles came into existence because it is easy to develop the stronger of the two traits. But we are meant to be balanced allowing the equality to blossom from within. If humans are meant to be balanced and we are created in the image of our Creator who is perfect, then our Divine source must be the perfect balance the masculine and feminine.

The radicals for Jesus that Henry Rollins make reference to at the beginning of this article may be ready for the fight, but as Sylvia Brown declares...the truth has a way of coming out.

You can read more at The Last Stand of Patriarchy and The Thinks That I Think? and there is plenty more if you are interested. You'll just have to dig deeper in my blog for the truth.

We Don't Talk To Terrorists

"I read that members of the GOP are angry with president Obama for shaking hands with Hugo Chavez. Please. Do we have to hate everyone all the time?...'We don’t talk to terrorists.'...I’m sick of it. I want all leaders of all countries to talk to each other all the time. " Henry Rollins

In March 2009, while visiting my parents in the Swamp, my father and I had a discussion that soon escalated into a mild argument. Surprise. Surprise. His stance stood firm on the side of, "We don't talk to terrorists!!!" Mine is the polar opposite.

The discussument (disscussion + argument) veered on to the path of "enhanced interrogation" (a.k.a TORTURE) of detainees. My father's viewpoint is that the "terrorists" should be tortured because "they" are torturing our soldiers. My viewpoint is that even if our soldiers are being tortured, it doesn't make it right and that we must lead by example.

"Oh, that's BULLSHIT!" is the response I always get from my father.

"Dad? You can't really think that way?" I replied in an elevated voice, but truly hurt that my father carries such hate. I can see it eating him. Consuming him.

"HELL YES I DO!" I could see his blood pressure rising. Not good for a man who had a quintuple by-pass in December 2008.

My reaction? Usually we get into an all out fight, but this time, I took a deep breath and said peacefully,
"Maybe it's time to think differently?"


I closed my eyes and took a deeper breath and responded, "Well, dad, it seems the way it has been done all this time ain't working. I love you, and your way of thinking is archaic. Our generation is here now, and this is how we want to do things. Maybe it's time to let go and try something new. We have to lead by example. If we want to stop war, we can't act in war. If we want to stop hate, we can't act in hate."

And surprisingly, he calmed down and said, "Well," pause, pause, pause. I could see his brain ticking, his eyes reflecting, and his heart aching to let go of the hate. "Well, maybe you're right."

I didn't want to fight with my father. So I didn't. I simply led by example.

16 May 2009

Market Square Webcam

Love this link for the Market Square Webcam. All's quiet after the Farmer's Market. Next week, I'm gonna be sure to get on camera. I'll let you know what time and we can synchronize our swatches so you can see me.

14 May 2009

One Man's Permacultural Journey...

"And that is permaculture. It is about letting go of ego, selfishness, and possessiveness, and realizing your full potential by working in harmony with others and the earth instead of against them." Neil Straus

Read more at:

The Nutritional Value of Worm Droppings

Slumdog News

Since its release, Slumdog Millionaire has been a subject of discussion among a variety of people in India and around the world.

ran this story today.

More Compost Instruction

I have taken the composting handout and expanded it.

You need to compost. It is a cheap and free way to amend & enrich soil. It is easy to do, saves money and is environmentally sound. Turn your scraps into soil and have the healthiest garden on the block.

What can I compost?

“Brown” stuff
Leaves, Twigs, Pine Needles, Wood Chips & Sawdust
Straw & Cornstalks
Shredded Newspaper, Cardboard, White or Unbleached Paper Towels, & White or Unbleached Napkins

“Green” stuff; nitrogen sources
Grass Clippings & Garden Trimmings
Dead House Plants & Potting Mix
Vegetable & Fruit Scraps, Bread & Grains, Eggshells, Tea Bags, Coffee Grounds & Filters (Moldy or lightly soggy food scraps are fine)
Manure from Farm Animals
Hay or Straw
Seaweed or Algae

What NOT to compost:
Branches over ½ “ diameter
Sawdust from Plywood
Treated/Painted Wood
Coated Photo & Copy Paper
Colored Paper & Waxed Cardboard
Meat, Fish, Poultry or Dairy Products
Pesticide-Treated Grass Clippings & Diseased Plants
Invasive Weeds & Weed Seed Heads (Unless you know that your compost is cooking hot enough to kill 'em) (Knoxvillagers: set out for Curbside Yard Waste Collection)
Pet Waste & Litter

Compost needs to get good and hot to decompose properly. It's best if you can put your compost bin in a good sunny spot, but not necessary.

Do not add thick layers of any kind of waste. Alternate layers of brown and green materials, keeping a 2:1 ratio of brown to green. Some people keep a pile of mulch near their bin and "layer" with the mulch. For example: If you throw in a bucket of food scraps, toss in two buckets of mulch. Again, not necessary. Just by trimming and keeping up your yard (you may find yourself picking up your neighbors refuse) you will probably keep a good balance.

A healthy compost pile doesn’t stink. Keeping a balance of brown to green and keeping it moist, but not wet, reduces the need to “turn” compost. The natural rain cycle should keep your compost watered enough. If your compost dries out, spray some water on it. If the compost seems stagnant or anaerobic, “turn” it with a pitchfork or something similar, which adds oxygen to the compost and aids aerobic activity.

It’s ready when it looks and smells like rich soil.

If you are composting with an enclosed compost bin, I don't think that you "turn" or water the compost. It's best to follow the instructions that come with the bin. I have never used one of these, so I can offer no advice on them.

I highly discourage tumbler compost bins. Though convenient, the earthworms and other microbes can't get in there and do their jobs. If you have (or want) this type of composter, fellow composter, Brad, suggests "seeding" your bin with earthworms. You can do this by digging up a handful of worms from your own yard, ordering them online, or purchasing them from a bait shop.

My favorite system is a three bin system. The first bin holds fresh compost. When that starts getting full, you turn that compost into the second bin so it can "cook". A few months down the road, when the compost is finished "cooking", you move it into the third bin for safe keeping until you need it. By the time the compost is turned into the third bin, you are probably ready to turn a new batch from the first bin to the second bin.

I think that I have covered all the bases, but if not, you can send me your questions.

Happy Gardening.

*Compiled by: Tracie Hellwinckel; Knoxville Permaculture Guild. More information and gardening articles at http://knoxvillepermacultureguild.ning.com/profile/traciehellwinckel

Please ask for permission to reprint. Thanks.

13 May 2009

The Season Is Shifting

For the first time in weeks, the birds singing didn't wake up at 4 a.m. I slept through till the alarm jostled me awake.

I was dreaming. My friend was telling me that another friend of ours from high school (who is now a secret service agent) had a fling with Henry Rollins back in the day.

I thought to myself, "No wonder Henry is so messed up. Anyone who falls in love with (this friend) doesn't get over her."

This morning as I fed the cats, I thought to myself, "If Henry did want to love a woman, (this friend) would be perfect if she played bass guitar."

So what does it mean when the birds aren't chirping and singing at 4 a.m. anymore? Or are they still there and I have just gotten used to them so they don't wake me up? I miss their morning wake-up call.

12 May 2009

Educating Family...Harder than Educating Strangers

My Aunt sent me the following e-mail. Now mind you, this IS a popular thought process in this nation. Without getting political, and stereotypes exist for a reason, this is the belief system of many of the folks who voted McPalin.

If the article becomes overbearing, you can scroll down to my row of asterisks. That's where the next level to the story ensues.

By the way, the entire following e-mail was written in GIGANTIC HUGE RED AND MAROON font.

Subject: This will tick you off! Tree huggers are at it again.

Check out the link in the last line of this email.

The U. S. Geological Service issued a report in April ('08) that only scientists and oil men knew was coming, but man was it big. It was a revised report (hadn't been updated since '95) on how much oil was in this area of the western 2/3 of North Dakota ; western South Dakota ; and extreme eastern Montana ..... check THIS out:

The Bakken is the largest domestic oil discovery since Alaska 's Prudhoe Bay , and has the potential to eliminate all American dependence on foreign oil. The Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates it at 503 billion barrels.. Even if just 10% of the oil is recoverable... at $107 a barrel, we're looking at a resource base worth more than $5.3 trillion.

'When I first briefed legislators on this, you could practically see their jaws hit the floor. They had no idea..' says Terry Johnson, the Montana Legislature's financial analyst.

'This sizable find is now the highest-producing onshore oil field found in the past 56 years.' reports, The Pittsburgh Post Gazette. It's a formation known as the Williston Basin , but is more commonly referred to as the 'Bakken.' And it stretches from Northern Montana, through North Dakota and into Canada . For years, U. S. oil exploration has been considered a dead end. Even the 'Big Oil' companies gave up searching for major oil wells decades ago. However, a recent technological breakthrough has opened up the Bakken's massive reserves..... and we now have access of up to 500 billion barrels. And because this is light, sweet oil, those billions of barrels will cost Americans just $16 PER BARREL!

That's enough crude to fully fuel the American economy for 41 years straight.

2. And if THAT didn't throw you on the floor, then this next one should - because it's from TWO YEARS AGO!

U. S. Oil Discovery- Largest Reserve in the World!
Stansberry Report Online - 4/20/2006

Hidden 1,000 feet beneath the surface of the Rocky Mountains lies the largest untapped oil reserve in the world. It is more than 2 TRILLION barrels.. On August 8, 2005 President Bush mandated its extraction. In three and a half years of high oil prices none has been extracted. With this motherload of oil why are we still fighting over off-shore drilling?

They reported this stunning news: We have more oil inside our borders, than all the other proven reserves on earth. Here are the official estimates:

- 8-times as much oil as Saudi Arabia
- 18-times as much oil as Iraq
- 21-times as much oil as Kuwait
- 22-times as much oil as Iran
- 500-times as much oil as Yemen
- and it's all right here in the Western United States .

HOW can this BE? HOW can we NOT BE extracting this? Because the environmentalists and others have blocked all efforts to help America become independent of foreign oil! Again, we are letting a small group of people dictate our lives and our economy....WHY?

James Bartis, lead researcher with the study says we've got more oil in this very compact area than the entire Middle East -more than 2 TRILLION barrels untapped. That's more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in the world today, reports The Denver Post.

Don't think 'OPEC' will drop its price - even with this find? Think again! It's all about the competitive marketplace, - it has to. Think OPEC just might be funding the environmentalists?
Got your attention/ire up yet? Hope so! Now, while you're thinking about it .... and hopefully P.O'd, do this:

3. Pass this along. If you don't take a little time to do this, then you should stifle yourself the next time you want to complain about gas prices .. because by doing NOTHING, you've forfeited your right to complain.
Now I just wonder what would happen in this country if every one of you sent this to every one in your address book.

By the way...this is all true.. Check it out at the link below!
GOOGLE it or follow this link. It will blow your mind.


The propaganda overwhelmed me. It's amazing, and people fall for it. This peaked my husbands curiosity so he did a little research.

Yes there is "oil". I use the term oil loosely because the "oil" is referred to as shale oil. Now without going into the entire diatribe of the evils of oil (some of that comes a bit later), I did a reply-all and sent the following e-mail to everyone on her list.


If you are really interested in this topic, you may want to read this:



Well, it's obvious that my aunt did not take the time to read or even look at the article, because this is what she replied back thinking that I was one of those people who were ticked off that our God given right to drill for that oil on US soil was being blocked by those environmentalist wacko tree huggers. (Yes, she wrote her e-mail in CAPS.)



It is a bizarre oxymoron...my aunt is a gardener and an encyclopedia for holistic health. She is highly religious. Doesn't drink nor smoke. She is extremely frugal and doesn't throw much away. She is a talented rug maker. She buys and sells at flea markets. If you sat down and had a conversation with her about natural things, you would think that she could slip into the "tree hugger" category. I truly love my aunt. I love hanging out with her and talking holistic health. She knows so much, and my cousins don't take her seriously. She and I will talk for hours. We have a lot in common. Yet, I think she is also the perfect example of the type of person that has been created/molded by propaganda.


It doesn't tick me off that it is not drilled. It ticks me off that people WANT to drill.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Some of the "oil" comes from shale rock which is extracting oil from rock. It is highly destructive, poisons the water and creates huge amounts of air pollution.

Even if "drilling" did occur, at best, there is only a 6 month supply over the course of twenty years. So, if there are about 180 days (in a six month time span...30 days x 6 months) that's less than a ten day supply for each of the twenty years at the modern rate of US oil consumption.

The entire ordeal is a farce and a scam to further pad the pockets of big oil business. Why would you want to support something like that? So your friend's sister-in-law (someone you don't know) can be rich? For money that doesn't benefit humanity as a whole, a part of this beloved United States and Earth gets to become a toxic waste pit? That ticks me off.

Why would I give a holy crap about other people's wallets? I'd rather change my lifestyle and leave a healthy clean planet for my child and future grandchildren to enjoy life on as I (and YOU) got to.

People need to change their lifestyles. Because at the US consumption rate of oil, even alleged "trillions" of barrels will NOT make us any less dependent on foreign oil.

To desecrate the Earth is a direct abomination of our holy Creator and a direct sin to our future generations.

Safe travels.

Love you,

And my final comment on this is that if people don't like being dependent on foreign oil, why don't they just STOP using oil?

Using oil is a choice, and you can choose NOT to use it. That is one sure way to stop dependence on foreign oil.

11 May 2009

An Epic Night of Dreaming

This is written out as a conscious stream...

Dreamt all night
last night
and when I woke
in the darkness of night
I closed my eyes
and returned
to those dreams
like an epic...
I dreamt of pirates.
Bad pirates & good pirates.
Bad pirates out to get Blue and I
We escape
I find an ally in a
big burly dark yet red faced man
who, at first, is doubtful
and hesitant to assist
but I convince him.
I know that he is the best.
We begin to subtly recruit for
our "army".
Many show for the first meeting
the room fills
as the meeting begins
part of the group shifts
their faces become like
clown faces painted white, black and red
they are spies from the other side
a fight ensues and
we immediately know
who fights with us.
With no plan it's hard
to continue fighting
we retreat, intact.
We are on a ship.
I am on the bow with the
Captain- my burly pirate ally friend
and a woman who is of dark skin
with dark hair. She is dressed in white
in a Star Wars Bohemian type of style.
She is stunningly beautiful.
She is also assisting in leading and strategy
and has brought a group of her own.
She is wise, kind, intelligent and dignified.
The wind blows us on the bow
as the ship sails quickly over the open sea.
Stars shine and it is
black all around us
the sky & the water
I say above the wind to the Captain, "I'm scared."
(I felt alarm after the attack at the meeting. I sensed the danger we had to overcome.)
The Captain gives a chuckle and replies,"It's about time that you felt the danger."
I go to him and put my arms
around him. I say,"I'm afraid (of what's to come). I love you."
He has his arms around me in a protective way.
I turn to the woman and
embrace her. I tell her
that I love her, too.
Tears are running down my face.
I'm in a dingy headed
across the ocean. There
are two or three others in the
dingy. We speed across
the open ocean.
Our "army" is on the move.
We have a plan. Everyone has a role.
We are not big, but we are clever.
We are ready to die if necessary.
In front of us is a big
white barge type boat closed on three sides with thick steel walls.
The fourth side and back is open towards us.
I can see the cargo.
An all-white semi tractor truck
in on the barge/boat.
Everything related to and
on the barge is white. It is a stark contrast
to the dark open sea.
We are all moving at a very fast pace. It's a bumpy ride in the open ocean.
Blue is safe inside the trailer
of the semi truck.
We follow close behind.
As we near our destination
and begin to move in our very
practiced and planned sequences,
I jump onto the barge and open the trailor.
As I do this, doors on the shore open
and the bad pirates attack (how did they know?).
As practiced and planned, I put Blue in the dingy.
He complains that he wants his toys.
I pick up a Star Wars
action figure (Han Solo?)
and put it in my jeans pocket.
I yell down at him above the noise that he must go.
I have no fear.
I look around.
There is chaos and fighting everywhere.
I go into the trailer to see what I can grab.
In the trailer is a bed and dresser. Toys are scattered, no doubt from the bumpy journey.
I try to pick some things up.
Blue is in the dingy
and they are moving him to shore.
He is supposed to go into one of the doors that the bad pirates came out of.
If all had gone as planned, this would have been a simple move.
I am concerned that with the ambush
that Blue won't make it to his destination on shore.
If I jump now, I can
swim to the dingy.
There is chaos all around and
I hope that everyone sticks to the plan.
I wake up.

As I lie in bed
in the dark room
the birds sing
loudly. Their songs
come in through the open window.
I don't know what time it is
but it is pitch dark outside.
I remember from a Rikki Hall column in
The Hellbender Press
that this time of year,
the Robins sing at 3 or 4 a.m.
I'm not sleepy
but I guess I return to sleep
because I'm dreaming again...

We arrive in a new place
by water and boats
this is a friendly place
city-like, bustling
we know that we can be safe here.
It is not of this time (it seems back in time, yet of this time)
There are wooden barrels on the wooden piers
The buildings seems wooden, stone or clay-like
the colors of the atmosphere/time is terra cotta-like,
browns and reddish browns.
We are all going to live here.
There is no sadness or fear.
The feeling is knowing.
I go to work in an inn as a waitress/room service/maid type person.
I sense that some time has past.
I am not unhappy. I feel alert and aware. I am busy at the inn.
I am at a diner type counter at the inn.
I can see into the kitchen.
My mind suddenly remembers as I see a
woman at the counter that I recognize as an ally.
I'm trying to jog the person's
memory without outright talking
about our past alliance.
I realize that it is time for
us all to come back together.
I know that no one is far, but where?
I sense an enemy in the kitchen
on the other side of the counter.
I realize that we need to be
super sly. It's time to motivate.

I wake up.
It's still dark.
Blue calls out, "DAD!"
I'm awake, but I don't move.
Chad jumps up and goes to
Blue's room. (I listen for dialogue, but hear none.)
Chad quickly returns and is quickly back
to sleep.
I guess that I fall back asleep, too
because I am in the dream...

Modern day.
I'm leaving my home and
I set the alarm.
I can't let them see me leave the
I'm going to a meeting of allies
there's a car in the street with
two men watching the house
I get out of the house and crawl away
on my hands and knees
so they don't see me.
(Ditto the sequence)
It's another day in the dream
Again, I go to leave the house (same mission)
I set the alarm
I open the door
and I see the car
I think that I can crawl off
again, but next door neighbors are
arriving home
I don't want them to see me either.
I cancel the alarm because
my 80 seconds to leave the
house are about up and
I don't want the alarm to go off.
The dog is in my way and I'm
afraid that I won't get the code
in on time.
I punch the wrong code. I hit cancel
then the right code.
The alarm doesn't go off.
I think to myself that I'm
going to have to exit through a window.


02 May 2009

Stillwater Farm

This is installment four of Stillwater Farm.

Installment One
Installment Two
Installment Three

Oak trees hung over the pavement like tilted umbrellas. Spanish moss draped from the limbs. Travis felt nostalgic as the drove reminded him of a different time other than the present day. The straight flat country roads ran though a rural part of South Carolina that hadn't seemed to change much. Or so it seemed to Travis. Even with modern homes scattered here and there, he could easily imagine people sipping lemonade on their wooden front porches at the hottest hour of the day to escape the sun's heat. It dripped with that laid back southern attitude where there is no rush to anything. Even the other drivers on the road seemed perfectly content in their slow pace as if they too had fallen back in time. When they came to a modern highway of four lanes, Travis felt disappointment at the vast expanse of cement and the faster travel, but it didn't last long because in that quickened pace of highway travel, they soon reached the turnoff to the beach which put them back on to another slow country road.
They passed a number of old structures and historic churches. There were many vendors on the roadside selling tomatoes, preserves, crafts, and fresh seafood. The fresh seafood signaled to Travis that they were getting close to their destination.
Karen turned onto a dirt road that led to a state park. When it came time for her to check-in she said, "I'm staying here for a night, but I'll be leaving in the morning. If you want, we can share a site." Travis didn't have any other place to go so he told her okay and gave her half the money needed to rent a campsite for the night.
It was a short hike in to the primitive camping sites and Travis was glad not to be staying in a site that offered both electricity and water where big campers with noisy air conditioners parked. There were a few pop-up campers and tents, but those were dwarfed by the mighty land yachts pulled by the big diesel trucks.
The primitive site sat on a marsh. Karen merely carried in her sleeping bag, the stuffed elephant and some water. Travis didn't see any tent and wondered where she would sleep. She solved the mystery when she unrolled her bag and a little tent that fit over the opening of the bag was built in to offer protection from the bugs. She also had a bottle of repellent which she quickly applied then walked through the trees to the edge of the marsh and sat in the dirt in her pink sundress.
Travis set up his pup tent then pulled out a single burner cook stove, two packages of noodles with sauce and some dehydrated vegetables not because he was hungry but because he didn't know what else to do at the moment. He was still quite full from the BBQ sandwich, but thought that he would get ready for later. He did need to allow time for the veggies to reconstitute and soften because if they didn't, they wouldn’t resemble any type of vegetable but would remain a hard nugget that could break a tooth. He didn't pull out any food for Karen who was very quiet and introverted sad energy. She seemed to know what she was doing. She obviously had a purpose or a plan even though Travis couldn't figure out for the life of him what that could be.
After he laid out the food, Travis didn't know what to do. He went out to the spigot at the top of the trail to fill his bottles. When he returned, Karen remained at the marsh's edge staring into the tall sea grass where the birds flittered and the baby crabs foraged for food.
"I'm going to take a walk," Travis called to her.
"Okay," she said back.
Travis noticed on the map that there were some walking trails. The trails were flat, wide, and sandy with bits and pieces of shells naturally imbedded into the path. It led through a beautiful oak hammock mixed with large pine trees and some, but not many palmetto trees. Squirrels dug for food, and a woodpecker pounded into a tree nearby. Looking down, he found deer and raccoon tracks almost on top of each other. On a large tree, a long snake skin clung to the bark. It was perfectly intact, and where the eyes of the snake would be, were perfect little holes in the skin. He resisted the temptation to take the skin. The trails flatness gave opportunity to bicyclists. As he reveled in his quiet reunion with nature, bicyclists sped by disturbing the tranquility of the woods. The cyclists disrupted the calmness that Travis sought, the calmness that one can reach by being completely quiet and still with the natural world. Of course maybe the cyclists were out to get some exercise, and they had every right to ride their bikes on the trails. At that speed, Travis knew that the cyclists were missing all the opportunities of nature and that communion with nature was only possible by being quiet and still in the wood. And he thought, “Camping is not camping when one camps in the Hilton on wheels at the campground. If one wants to connect with earth, one needs to be hushed with her, clearing the mind and making oneself vulnerable to her. If someone wants the luxuries of home, rent a damn house, condo, or hotel room. That's what they are there for. By bringing those monstrous beasts and moving mechanisms into nature, one can never even come close to the gist of nature.” He found it sad that a human could not find complete solitude at sea level and asked himself, "Does that place exist?"
Travis had a reoccurring dream. He would be outdoors, somewhere, and there was a river or a lake, some kind of fresh water source. The water was always crystal blue and a quiet sanctuary during his childhood. But now, boats and large numbers of people filled the waterway making it as congested as a city street and becoming polluted with garbage and noise. There is always a secret channel into another part of the river or lake that no one knows about, but he remembers from his childhood. All he needs to do is recall the exact means of access. He starts to feel panicked that he won't find the way. When he finds the way, he is sometimes too big to get through it or he is frightened because he has to go through a tight tunnel that leads under water for a long period of time. When he doesn't wake up too soon and makes it through the tunnel, the area is not the same. It has been touched, but at least it isn't like the place outside that is crowded with people. Someone has found it, and of course, had to fuck it up in some little way by leaving garbage or graffiti, nothing that couldn't be fixed, nothing permanent. It is still a sanctuary even though not private, and in the dream, he feels some relief and hope, but in Travis’ waking hours, he felt only despair.