There's nothing like the news of death to ground you and stir the thoughts.
A good friend of mine lost her battle with breast cancer yesterday at 10:45 in the morning.
Of course the sadness I feel is for the living and the pain that we will no longer be able to share life with her, for she is not in pain anymore.
I wrote often with my friend in mind knowing that she lurked my blog and a secret way to keep her abreast of the activities of my life. It was a way to share thoughts and ideas without the entanglement of engaging in conversation for her illness kept her from discussion, but I know that she could still read when her health permitted. Neither she nor I are phone people and the physical distance between our homes would only allow for such contact if we wanted to verbalize anything to each other. I knew that I could talk with her through written word.
I feel incredible loss and sadness knowing now that she won't read these words and death had ended the special relationship we had through this blog.
Sometimes I would write special things that I knew would make her laugh or wonder. Many times I wrote just for her.
Oh, God, I'm going to miss her. And for the other people in her life, I know that they are feeling the same sense of loss. If I walk around as in a trance, what is her partner of 22 years feeling? What is his sense of loss? He nurtured her everyday since she found out about her breast cancer. He solely took care of her through the chemo and radiation. He stood by her day in and day out. I can't imagine how he must feel right now.
I'm feeling rather spent, quiet and tired. I don't know what else to say right now except, "I'm going to miss you Snorkel Girl."