Yesterday I wrote about not reaching my personal summit, and this morning amongst squealing cousins and playing babies, I had a brief thought.
I had always considered Blue my Everest. I thought 9 months of pregnancy, labor, natural childbirth and 2 years 4 months 9 days of breastfeeding that I had conquered my personal Everest. I definitely came out the other side a changed woman.
The thought I had this morning rocked my world a little bit and trails back to the Intuitive Counselor I visit. She said in response to my feeling apprehension about the journey to Pine Ridge, "It's normal to feel a push and pull right before you give birth to yourself."
Hmm, birth to myself? If I felt growth by giving birth to Blue, what would giving birth to myself feel like? That's when I remembered that to summit Everest, there are many steps including base camp which is at 17,585 feet through camps 1 to 4 then the final and dangerous climb to the summit at 29,029.
It's possible that my own birth to this world may be viewed as base camp and many people may just hang at this level their entire lives never really striving or reaching beyond it. Content and comfortable. (And I'm not here to judge them. Sometimes I wish that same simplicity for myself, but the restlessness doesn't quite relinquish its hold...be careful what you wish for, right?)
Could adolescence be considered camp 1? or Schooling and my degrees? Marriage? Maybe, but if I have to ask that question, it probably is not. What are the DEFINITE milestones of my life that have truly transitioned me? Blue's birth.
So really, I may be sitting at camp 1 on Everest awaiting for the weather to change or to acclimate so I can venture to camp 2 taking little steps and each experience brings me closer and closer. Sometimes, though, it may be too extreme and I need to retreat to my tent for a spell or further training.
So, as I write, the chaos ensues around me. I hope the thoughts and introspection came out proper. This is rather raw...not polished...a brainstorm...free stream thought. I beg your empathy for feeling rushed, kids running around, questions being thrown at me, talking in the background, TV, the pressure to finish writing so we can go on a hike, having to pee and the craving for a smoke as to excuses for not fully developing these thoughts nor editing for mistakes.
That's okay. I'm not the first to create the analogy of Everest to personal experiences. Maybe, you yourself have done the same.
Whatever the case, thanks for reading.
16 July 2009
15 July 2009
No Everest This Year
Well, we had to turn home without reaching the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. I would be getting ready for sweat lodge right now, but instead, I am in the suburbs of Olathe not, surprisingly, drowning my sorrows.
Blue was so sick yesterday. All he did was lay on the couch, watch movies and sleep. After a restless night of sleeping, he awoke with a low grade fever. There was just no way that I could selfishly put him in a car and head up into the middle of no where and submit him to a 16 hour round road trip.
He asked, "So we're not going to go see the Native Americans?"
I answered, "No, baby."
He asked, "Because I'm sick?"
I answered, "Yes."
It didn't seem to bother him.
Blue didn't want to make the trip to begin with, and that little bugger, one way or another, usually gets his way. I am sad though that he has a fever.
This morning, our friends' five year old daughter, Anna, wanted us to watch her swim lessons. It was cool out, so we all went to the pool and watched both Helen and Anna. Blue was so sad and wanted to swim, too, but there was no chancing his getting more ill. Last time, in Florida, when we let him swim with a very low grade fever, he got ten times sicker.
After swim lessons, we said good-bye to the girls which was very hard for me. I love those girls and tried to talk them into returning to Tennessee with me. Tonya, Chad, Blue and I headed to downtown Lincoln for a quick look around and some ice cream. We went to their Old City, Haymarket, down by the tracks. I must say that I was very impressed. I must mention how CLEAN Lincoln is in general. Haymarket was equally so.
We had lunch at a cool bookstore, Indigo Bridge, that had no prices, but accepted donations. Today's fare: soup and bread. We had a very delicious West African peanut. The other soup was a gluten free creamy potato. When you order your soup, they give you an envelope and you pay what you can. You can also eat all that you want. Cool. They also have a wonderful bookstore.
After lunch, we scooted over to Ivana Ice Cream where ice cream is made fresh daily. As we walked in, the ice cream vats sat right by the fornt door on display still with ice and water used to freeze the cream with salt caking the sides. I had fresh pistachio on a sugar cone for the fair price of $2.40. Blue's same sized cone had a special price for kids under 12 for only a dollar. What a bargain.
We took some cool photos, but I left my battery charger in Knoxville and was shooting on borrowed time. I think I clicked off a few good pics. I can get lost in a historic district taking photos and Lincoln had plenty of cool sites. I could have used more battery power and more time.
In 1993 I drove I-80 across Nebraska and said that I would NEVER go back. I'm very glad that I had the opportunity to return because not only Lincoln, but when you get off the main roads, Nebraska has a very beautiful landscape.
We left Lincoln around 1 p.m. and headed south on a state road instead of the interstate driving on part of the Lewis and Clark scenic route. The cornfields of Nebraska gently roll and the farmers practice contour planting giving the effect of terraced corn gardens. I almost forgot that we were driving through mono-crops of industrial corn.
We crossed the Missouri River into Missouri on a cool old bridge in Rulo, Nebraska which seemed like such a neat deserted old town on the river. What made Rulo so interesting was how different the terrain was compared to the rest of the Nebraska that we saw because there were so many trees. Agriculture surrounded the town, but the town itself was seemed mountain-esque as it descended down to the river. But I just googled THIS while trying to check the spelling of Rulo. Whoa.
We continued on to I-29 south where we had to quickly pull to the "safety" lane to let Blue out of the car to throw up. As tractor trailers sped by, Blue vomitted. I was so scared standing out there on the side of the interstate, but we had no choice. There aren't many exits in rural Missouri even on the interstate.
We made it to Kansas City without further incident. I'm sitting in my in-laws living room right now. Blue still has a slight fever and now I must weigh the option of staying out another day or trying to make the two day trek home.
I feel disappointed that I didn't get to go to Pine Ridge, but I said to Tonya this morning, "Some people go to Everest with the hopes of making the summit, but circumstances keep them from getting to the top. Many try again. At least I didn't go all the way to Everest!" She added, "Yeah, you only went to Nebraska!"
Hopefully, I'll get the chance to travel to Pine Ridge again, and hopefully, the circumstances will be more on my side. If not, I'll just try again. One way or another, I'll summit my Everest.
Blue was so sick yesterday. All he did was lay on the couch, watch movies and sleep. After a restless night of sleeping, he awoke with a low grade fever. There was just no way that I could selfishly put him in a car and head up into the middle of no where and submit him to a 16 hour round road trip.
He asked, "So we're not going to go see the Native Americans?"
I answered, "No, baby."
He asked, "Because I'm sick?"
I answered, "Yes."
It didn't seem to bother him.
Blue didn't want to make the trip to begin with, and that little bugger, one way or another, usually gets his way. I am sad though that he has a fever.
This morning, our friends' five year old daughter, Anna, wanted us to watch her swim lessons. It was cool out, so we all went to the pool and watched both Helen and Anna. Blue was so sad and wanted to swim, too, but there was no chancing his getting more ill. Last time, in Florida, when we let him swim with a very low grade fever, he got ten times sicker.
After swim lessons, we said good-bye to the girls which was very hard for me. I love those girls and tried to talk them into returning to Tennessee with me. Tonya, Chad, Blue and I headed to downtown Lincoln for a quick look around and some ice cream. We went to their Old City, Haymarket, down by the tracks. I must say that I was very impressed. I must mention how CLEAN Lincoln is in general. Haymarket was equally so.
We had lunch at a cool bookstore, Indigo Bridge, that had no prices, but accepted donations. Today's fare: soup and bread. We had a very delicious West African peanut. The other soup was a gluten free creamy potato. When you order your soup, they give you an envelope and you pay what you can. You can also eat all that you want. Cool. They also have a wonderful bookstore.
After lunch, we scooted over to Ivana Ice Cream where ice cream is made fresh daily. As we walked in, the ice cream vats sat right by the fornt door on display still with ice and water used to freeze the cream with salt caking the sides. I had fresh pistachio on a sugar cone for the fair price of $2.40. Blue's same sized cone had a special price for kids under 12 for only a dollar. What a bargain.
We took some cool photos, but I left my battery charger in Knoxville and was shooting on borrowed time. I think I clicked off a few good pics. I can get lost in a historic district taking photos and Lincoln had plenty of cool sites. I could have used more battery power and more time.
In 1993 I drove I-80 across Nebraska and said that I would NEVER go back. I'm very glad that I had the opportunity to return because not only Lincoln, but when you get off the main roads, Nebraska has a very beautiful landscape.
We left Lincoln around 1 p.m. and headed south on a state road instead of the interstate driving on part of the Lewis and Clark scenic route. The cornfields of Nebraska gently roll and the farmers practice contour planting giving the effect of terraced corn gardens. I almost forgot that we were driving through mono-crops of industrial corn.
We crossed the Missouri River into Missouri on a cool old bridge in Rulo, Nebraska which seemed like such a neat deserted old town on the river. What made Rulo so interesting was how different the terrain was compared to the rest of the Nebraska that we saw because there were so many trees. Agriculture surrounded the town, but the town itself was seemed mountain-esque as it descended down to the river. But I just googled THIS while trying to check the spelling of Rulo. Whoa.
We continued on to I-29 south where we had to quickly pull to the "safety" lane to let Blue out of the car to throw up. As tractor trailers sped by, Blue vomitted. I was so scared standing out there on the side of the interstate, but we had no choice. There aren't many exits in rural Missouri even on the interstate.
We made it to Kansas City without further incident. I'm sitting in my in-laws living room right now. Blue still has a slight fever and now I must weigh the option of staying out another day or trying to make the two day trek home.
I feel disappointed that I didn't get to go to Pine Ridge, but I said to Tonya this morning, "Some people go to Everest with the hopes of making the summit, but circumstances keep them from getting to the top. Many try again. At least I didn't go all the way to Everest!" She added, "Yeah, you only went to Nebraska!"
Hopefully, I'll get the chance to travel to Pine Ridge again, and hopefully, the circumstances will be more on my side. If not, I'll just try again. One way or another, I'll summit my Everest.
14 July 2009
To Continue On?
We made it safe and sound to Lincoln, Nebraska to see friends Tonya, Rich and their precious little girls. We hadn't seen them in five years since they lived on their farm in South Dakota. Chad met Tonya years and years and years ago when they both worked at the Land Institute in Salina, Kansas.
When we lived in Flagstaff, Arizona in 1999-2000, Tonya (pregnant with their first) and Rich came to visit us. It was the first time we had all really met. We instantly bonded and have remained dear friends through the duration of time and space. This is only the third time in my life that I have spent time with them, but it was like no time nor space has kept us apart. I believe that we have a rare bond and seeing them is like returning home.
We were leaving today to head out on the next part of what has become a pilgrimage for me...to meet with a representative of Running Strong for American Indian Youth. This has been in the planning for a year.
We woke up and Blue was acting very cranky, but we hoped in the car and stopped at the local Food Co-op for supplies. Since he seemed to be getting crankier, we stopped at the Walgreens and I bought a thermometer, and sure enough, Blue had a 100.3 fever.
Since the town, Chadron, NE, is 7 to 8 hours NW near the Wyoming and South Dakota border in the middle of no where, we have decided to return to our friend's home in Lincoln to rest and spend another night. If Blue clears up, we may head out early tomorrow, but if not, the trip is canceled. If the next stop was only a few hours out, I would set out on my own. I don't feel comfortable though heading out into unchartered territory alone at this point. I know that Chad would worry imensely about me the entire time.
I'm feeling let down. We have come so far, but things happen for a reason. Right?
When we lived in Flagstaff, Arizona in 1999-2000, Tonya (pregnant with their first) and Rich came to visit us. It was the first time we had all really met. We instantly bonded and have remained dear friends through the duration of time and space. This is only the third time in my life that I have spent time with them, but it was like no time nor space has kept us apart. I believe that we have a rare bond and seeing them is like returning home.
We were leaving today to head out on the next part of what has become a pilgrimage for me...to meet with a representative of Running Strong for American Indian Youth. This has been in the planning for a year.
We woke up and Blue was acting very cranky, but we hoped in the car and stopped at the local Food Co-op for supplies. Since he seemed to be getting crankier, we stopped at the Walgreens and I bought a thermometer, and sure enough, Blue had a 100.3 fever.
Since the town, Chadron, NE, is 7 to 8 hours NW near the Wyoming and South Dakota border in the middle of no where, we have decided to return to our friend's home in Lincoln to rest and spend another night. If Blue clears up, we may head out early tomorrow, but if not, the trip is canceled. If the next stop was only a few hours out, I would set out on my own. I don't feel comfortable though heading out into unchartered territory alone at this point. I know that Chad would worry imensely about me the entire time.
I'm feeling let down. We have come so far, but things happen for a reason. Right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)